Like schedules and routine, organization keeps stress down and my mind clear. Having a special needs child and being organized seems next to impossible, but it makes life much easier. Not just structurally, but mentally. It is said that our homes and spaces reflect our minds, and one look in my downstairs closet would show you there’s much I put away and forget about. That’s why it is so important to set aside time to organize my home and my mind. This became quite clear during home school. Thankfully To-Do-List made life much more Do-Able.
Once dinner was done and J was down for the count, I was so tired that I wouldn’t even want to talk anymore. I spent the day talking slow which is challenging for me as I speak a mile a minute. Much energy was also spent on being extremely patient, repeating words again and again, and exaggerating enunciation that by nine o’ clock I was sick of my own voice. Not to mention all the other things I had to do once home school hours ended, I was spent. I would have headaches and my voice would be so hoarse no amount of tea and honey would soothe it. It seemed like the only down time was bedtime. I would tell my husband, Big J, “just talk, you do the talking, tell me all about your day” which was surprising to him since getting me to shut up is usually the challenge. Midway through his recollection of the day, my exhaustion would conquer me and I’d knock out.
I realized I had to do something to get ahead of this rapid pace I was setting for myself during the day. I worked in midtown Manhattan for years before turning my total attention to J, so I was accustomed to a fast pace, busy life, but the work day ended at some point. I left the office and it’s troubles behind until the next day. I had to come up with some life hacks for home schooling. I had to get organized. So I asked my mom to take J for the day. I spent the day balancing my life by creating realistic goals and limits on work so that I could spend time off from being J’s teacher and more time being mom, wife, and me.
I sat down with a pen, and paper and wrote out two list. One was titled “Things to do for Me”. The second list was ” Things to do for J”. Writing down all the things looming in my mind made it much less daunting. The panicked feeling of “oh! I forgot all about that” was gone, because each task was accounted for on my trusty list. It may sound silly and simple but they help and I always feel such a sense of accomplishment when I can cross something off the list “and sigh of relief, its done”. I could also see options for what could be incorporated into the home school schedule, like my workout during PE, visiting my family as a social activity, dropping off donations to the church, recycling, paying and mailing out bills could all be great living skills opportunities for J. I just had to get creative in my thinking and brave in my planning. Outings were and sometimes still can be a challenge. I’ll talk more about how I handled that in a later post.
So with my mind mentally organized I didn’t feel so overwhelmed, I knew I was going to have time to watch a movie with Big J after little J went to sleep because I didn’t have to run to the post office or workout, or grocery shop. I already did that during the day with J. I even had time put aside to write and do research about Autism after we ate dinner. I asked Big J to give me an hour of alone time while he spent some quality “guy time” with little J. Yes! I even learned how to ask for help and how to delegate. I didn’t need to do it all on my own as I had myself believe.
I typed up about two weeks worth of lesson plans. I got everything ready for them like supplies, worksheets, bookmarked websites, and anything that I would normally find myself scrambling to do with the 15 minute breaks I had between each lesson. Our breaks were short to keep J on task, any longer and he would lose interest, get into mischief, and be much more difficult to refocus. The faster I could move through subjects the better. I could now sit down next to him during a break and have a cook of tea and recover before the next lesson. This planning made me feel empowered and inspired, even if I was only cutting up eggs for the Green Eggs and Ham counting game we were going to play in math.
I imagine this is what most teachers do daily, prepare as much as possible ahead of time. I never studied to be a teacher so my teaching skills stemmed from playing school when I was a child and being a student myself. I always did like being the teacher when we played school, but we were not “playing school” anymore, this was J’s future and this was hard, challenging work. I regard good teachers as great strategist now.
Being organized helped me add more elements of fun to the day. I was more care free and able to be in the moment because I wasn’t worried about preparing for the next moment, it was already prepared for. There is so much in life that can not be anticipated, but with a good amount of organization and planning the unexpected becomes manageable.
Feeling overwhelmed comes with the territory of raising a special needs child and children in general. If you feel like you are drowning or just can’t seem to get it all done try making list to gain mental organization. Start with the time sensitive priorities at the top. Understand that you may not check everything off in one day and allow yourself enough time to properly tend to each. I like to give myself due dates especially for bills or tasks that have deadlines. If this feels like it adds too much pressure don’t write deadlines just what needs to get done. See what you can ask others to help out with. Then execute! Make it your mission to get at least two things or even one done a day. Be realistic about how much time each task will take to do properly and then make that time. Before you know it that list will get smaller and smaller. I hope this helps, please let me know if writing lists helps you out or if you have any questions please don’t hesitate to comment.
Here is a link to a helpful article about the many options of To-Do templates you can use with your device if you like to be a little more tech savvy than a pen and paper allow: Finding the best to do list app with a to do list template